It’s been over a month since I’ve posted on the blog. If I can be completely transparent, I haven’t been inspired to say anything. I don’t want to post just for the sake of posting. My goal is to be completely intentional with everything I do here. It has been a packed month with lots of amazing things occurring, but I’ve been in an emotional rut. Allow me to explain….
Lately, when I’ve approached The Lord in my quiet time, it seems like I’ve been going through the motions. I feel numb. I’m exhausted. I’d rather sleep. You see, I recently found out that my mother is battling cancer. It has been less than a year since my stepdad passed away from stage 4 cancer. Imagine how I felt when my mom gave us the news. I literally felt like a car had hit me. I didn’t even cry at first. I was completely frozen. Then the tears began to fall. I never thought I would hear those words from my mom. I was crushed to say the least. Since then, I’ve literally felt like I’ve been going through the motions of everyday life. I’ve been a little frustrated at the Lord.
“Lord, I don’t understand! How could this happen? Cancer isn’t prevalent in our family. Our family is still coping and grieving from the loss of our daddy. I just don’t understand Lord. What if I lose my mom? How could I go on with life?” These and so many more thoughts ran through my mind. I was mad!
It was in the darkest moment, the stillness of night, when these words came to me: “For who can stop the Lord almighty?”. I was reminded who I’ve devoted my life to. I serve the Mighty God of the Universe. I am not left to walk through the darkness alone. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to ENDURE. This earthly life is soooo temporary, whether you want to believe it or not. This is just a small part of the story. The challenges we face here on earth are often meant to build our character and teach us a lesson. This is part of the process.
Merriam-Webster defines endure as to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in. As I poured everything out to the Lord, I was led to revisit Hebrews 12:1-2(HCSB). To summarize these two powerful scriptures, we as believers are reminded to lay aside anything that hinders us from running the race of life. “Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the Source and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne” (verse 2).
Although I read these verses many times, I couldn’t help but gain a sense of peace because Jesus, the Perfect Son of God, endured more than I ever will; however, His eyes were focused on the call His Father has on His life. Wow.
I was challenged to first consider those things that are hindering me from running the race He’s called me to confidently. Then, I was reminded to stay in my own lane and keep my eyes on HIM. Not to get distracted from the main goal of eternity with Jesus.
Live your life intentionally, keeping your eyes on The Source. Let me know your experience of having to endure. Remember, you’re not in this alone.